Profilo di BelindaBelinda 孫愫忆FotoBlogElenchiAltro  |  Strumenti Guida |
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28 settembre Being a foolI felt I'm foolish enough.. Foolish enough till at times I no longer have any secret of my own...
It seems people surrounding me knowing more than I do... I the only left that being 傻瓜.
Today's track : 傻瓜 by Wen Lan
28 giugno Getting clumsier each day
I don't understand lately. I always been cautious at things.. But then it seems a lot bothering me these days. A lot of things in my mind. Not just work, not just stress, but is more than that.... Is like my brain never stop working... Even not in my sleep... I dreamt. How do I determine whether I'm really getting more clumsy these days, huh? In same week, I left my handphone in my own car and one of my friend's car more than 3 times.. Or I should say countless... I also searching high and low for my Touch and Go card. Then, next comes my small wallet that contains all my credit cards and IC... Not to say I left my dad's GPS system in his car and it's showing obviously in the dashboard... I'm attracting unwanted attention by doing so.. Hohohoh! I can't remember when and how it exactly it slip out from my hand.. Just that I seem day dreaming... I not too sure what am I wander about. I am not too sure what is bothering me... Or perhaps I know? But I doubt that causes me... Well, perhaps is just me naturally becoming clumsier... Die lor... Lolz! 19 aprile Seeking back my happiness...
I couldn't sleep at all.. Perhaps finding someone to talk to is better... But I can't express true feeling at times... Even I know I still have a my family and bunch of friends who cares bout me, but that doesnt enough to even cure my own heart... This is very much about myself... I find I'm more expressive when I start writing.. That's why I choose to blog today.. 2 years back, I still remember every single details. I still remember I was in the hospital at the side of my sister.. She still breathing hard before she had her last breath... Doctor told us she is in coma, and should not have any reaction due to high drug usage... I find a moment of me and myself alone in the room, I've told her, "Jeh, I always know u r tough.. U never lose in this battle. U are always a winner to me.. Jeh, I really love you..". I saw right in front of me, her tears rolling down.. We both did.. I always tell myself not to question WHY... Death is just part of our journey in life.. Although is going to be the last chapter in our life.. That what I tell everyone.. Even to my dad when he was sorrow 2 years back... Yes we can control the way we want to live but I certaintly felt.. we cant control how long we stay alive.... But today... in my heart, for the very first time, I would really like to scream out loud, WHY YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIS FROM ME? Sometimes when you love a person a lot, you dont even know how to express to him/her, Only your inner heart knows it... I've born as a cheerful gal. Everyone knows it.. But does that mean a cheerful person always that cheerful. I lose my shine at times... I beginning to lose more... My smile had faded.. Not in a way that I thought it used to be... How I wish my smile can be true. How I wish someone could bring back my smiles.. OH well, is getting real late.. BEL, better get some sleep before you need to get up early tomorrow. Bought a nice flower bouquet for her sis.. :D Well music of the day.. 快樂 ;) 14 marzo 2 years had gone.....
It's been some time since I walk passed KL Plaza. Or I should say even entering the building itself. Used to going there for my Japanese classes together with my sister. But I've stop doing so. Perhaps I'm lazy or perhaps I just miss the moment of me and my sister rushing for our classes, sharing notes n etc. Whatever reason it be, KL Plaza of today and KL Plaza 2 years ago is totally different. It kinda suprised me in a way. Looking from the main entrance, is all dark and gloomy. There are no tenants at all. The world keep moving. And things around us keep changing. Sometimes I felt the changes are too drastic. I've to keep pushing up myself in order to adapt the changes. Perhaps I'm pushing myself too hard. Perhaps so....... This coming 19th April. Is gonna be 2 years since my sis left us.. Seriously, until now.. I always tell myself to accept the facts.. Yes I did... But yet.. the fact sometimes I felt is too cruel even to believe... Bel really miss her sister....... 31 luglio Very Unhappy..
It was really a great disappointment upon receiving a call tonight. A cross feeling between betrayal and hatred is formed in between. Yet I didnt show my temper towards her. I'm heartbroken. Not only it hurts me, but my dad and even my whole family..
08 agosto What Can I Do?How all of you going to celebrate this 50th Merdeka? I will be taking a nice break with my family to Penang. Perhaps it's a good thing that this trip came in time. At least the feeling of my sister not celebrating my bday anymore with me will not keep pumping into my head.
I indeed questioned myself many times. Did I overcome it? I knew I'm still sad and can't fully let go. My sis, a young gal who never thought of having the word dead in her dictionary, had always tell me that she will come back to take care of her company once she is all well. But she couldnt continue doing it anymore.....
Yes, I need to stay strong.. But at times, I can't run from the feeling of loneliness...
The feeling of losing a travel partner, shopping partner, beauty partner & many other things, that will just accompany me 24/7. Of coz, I will not stop myself from living happily. That's still a lot of people who need my care.
I'm still me! I still have my parents, my brother, my sis-in-law, and not to say a new incoming member joining the SOON family soon. A nephew!
Heheheh....... Already bought a lot of little cute baby clothes for him.
Before I end my 'Today Story', just would like to ask all of you, what are you trying to achieve in your life?
Just don't overwork until neglecting your loved ones. Get yourself to call them whenever you are free, I'm sure they are happy to hear your voice. * Any surprise bday gift for me? :P 22 aprile Just A Dream
How I really wish it can be just a dream. I cant help to feel that I lost a sister. Yes, she leaved all of us on the 19th April 2007 @ 7.45 am. A sister who I deeply missed. Both of us know is hard to separate us. We might fought at times which most sibling those. But that doesnt stop us from knowing each other very well. I still remember in the midnight. How she keep struggling to live on eventhough her whole body system is shutting down with real low BP rate yet she still breath hard still wishing she can live on, to stay close with all of us. The other nights she ask me to take care the business well. I promised I will.
I wish I could say I want her back. But is not up to me to say it. God had destined her life to be ended in that way. A way that very much unpredictable by all of us.
I truly proud of my sister as she had fought courageusly througout her illness. Until the moment she passed away, she won't let us see her the way she suffer to avoid us being too heart broken. When nurse informing us yesterday that she cant go through the night, we had spent the whole night with her so that she wont felt lonely. But the moment we step out from the window for just a light breakfast to refresh ourselves, she felt that is the right time to leave all of us. Holding tightly to the self-tailor pillow that I made, she said before she must hold it in order to sleep well and to hug off the pain. And that pillow had follow her thorought the journey in battling her cancer and that pillow will follow her forever.
Sis, Love you always!
17 dicembre New StyleWell well, I had a new haircut today. Not just normal trimming or giving myself a fridge. I'm getting myself a short hair.
 Gosh.... Cut off 9". No worries. Nothing wrong with me. I'm all pretty good and fine. Just that I'm doing that for two reasons. First reason (the main reason) is to give encouragement for my sister due to her side effect from her treament for her "mushroom disease". Secondly, just wanna try some new look for this new year. If you guys happen to meet up or bump into me, please give nice comment woh. (Yeah, I knew I got a round face) Hahah you can tell me sarcastically that I look nice. Wahah that's better than nothing.  Anyways, that's gonna be temporary since is just an act of support. Perhaps this new hairstyles suits me. (^_^') Well, lets wait for comments.
06 dicembre Xmas Wish
This year my Christmas wish is really simple. Nothing materialistic wise. My greatest wish will be having my sister to accompany me shopping as usual, quarrel for tiny little things, going trip together and most importantly looking at her able to overcome her illness, a speedy recovery and her health remains good. She will be going through her last stage of treatment very soon. Will be meeting up with another new arranged doctor soon. By then, my whole family will be going to Langkawi for a holiday break to usher the new year, the year of 2007. I'm really hoping for the day. A day of celebration! Come on, everybody, nothing to wish for Xmas this year huh, well then you can help me wish for what I'm wishing now. Thanks. Anyway, let's have an early greeting. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!! 05 dicembre The Year of 2006
It's almost coming close to year end and I'm making a special appreance again. Well, let's do a snapshot what had happened to me in this year of 2006.
Ahahah for me, the year of 2006 was indeed interesting.. A remarkable year which I had my first accident and a subsequent one after newly repair it, not to say it comes in with flooding my car during those flash flood days. That was the first quarter of 2006. The second quarter comes in with my lovely friend cum ex-colleague, Lee Siah passed away due to illness. The third quarter of 2006, I was basically stressed at work that makes me unhappy at times. Not to say, I had nose bleeding for 3-4 days. Then, Grandma had stroke but she remain well after the first strike. The last quarter of 2006, greatly impacted my life. Life totally changed at this time of period. My sister who was down with illness. An illness that may fear everyone. Yeap, she had cancer.
How does it felt for a someone close to you had diagnosed on that? Ask me or talk to me, you will understand more. There is no time for me to say fear nor thinking what will happen next. Everything comes in seconds. Heheh thks again to those who had showed concern to me and my sister throughout this period of times. Anyway, last Sunday, 3rd December 2006, I had successfully took the Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level 4 exam. Yayy!!! The long awaiting exam... Though, the results will only be released next March but I felt glad I'm all done. Results might not look good coz is really very hard and I never really had time to study. But I did my best on it. *^_^* Proud proud. (Die.. wait till my result out.... Sigh!) ^_^'
So what you guys had been done so far? 03 agosto Let's get your hand dirtyOkie everybody! It's time for you to leave a comment. It can be anything! Off-topic discussion. Guest book. Testimonial. Whatever you want it to be. Love my blog? Hehehe well better start scribbling something over here now! I need your hand prints!!! Bel 01 agosto Name Me NotThanks daddy, mommy! I’m so happy that I’m given a proper name at least. Reading through the NST article today this morning, here is part of article titled “What if your name sounds like ‘waiting to use toilet’?” ”There is Selangor executive councillor Datuk Tang See Hang, whose name may sound like "waiting to use the toilet" in Cantonese.” Muaks.. Love ya daddy mommy!  * We all should be proud of our names no matter what. (*^_^*) Sorry for laughing out loud just now. Know I’m bad (^0^) 21 luglio Happy Birthday, LS!Time passed. She had left us for more than 2 months. Yeap, I do always think about her. Hope she doing good. How's heaven huh? Heheh anyways, today I'm here just to wish her Happy Birthday. Is her birthday this coming Sunday, 23rd July 06. I'm not here to add sorrow to those who know her. I'm not here to refresh your memories not able to celebrate birthday together with her this year. But instead I'm just here to remind you all she would be happier if you still remember her and put all the moments we had together as a wonderful memories in your life. So let's wish her Happy Birthday!
Looking back at my Friendster testimonial. We both had written for each other. Let's check it out. licia | 11/10/2005 Belinda, my ex. colleague...the ONLY gal that sitting in front of me and the ONLY partner i have in the project. Tough moment already gone!!! Horray!!! Meeting with those tough ppl !!!! Aiseh!!! But still you are bz with your current job.."always go back late"..take care my fren.. She is a very nice and kind person. Hardly to see her in bad mood (no matter how stress she is, she will try to do her best)..she will try to cheer up everyone around her...
Always i envy that she has a good communication skill and good in english.
Again, Nice to meet and being your friend!!!
Belinda | 11/10/2005 Hey gal! Haha nice testimonial on my side ;) Thks! Hehe. I'm really glad to have her as my colleague in my prev comp. Without her in there, my life would be soooo boring. She's the one who i laugh with, the one i cry with and the one who i can share everything and also the one who can blast music together after 6 pm in the office.. Wahahah! We just dont bother bout our boss. :P Miss so much on those moments... To me, she's more independent than me (which I should learn from her) and a person who keep improving herself to make herself a better person. Hehe anyway, although me and her only get to work together just a year only (actually not enuff a year man) we already bond a good friendship between us. Before I start working, ppl keep telling me.. colleagues will always remain as colleague.. There will be no fren.. But come and look at us, we made it!! Yeap i'm truly bz. Heavily attached with work, but i promised will buy some time to keep meeting u up.. Hehhehe. Thks for being my fren We indeed had a good time together before. You know wat.. After looking through this, I should encouraged you all to start writing testimonials to all your friends coz you will never know wheher he/she will able to read it or even able to approve your testimonial that you wrote. Go ahead, start writing! Happy Birthday, Lee Siah! Miss ya! Muaks... 10 giugno That's MeI'm just proud being myself!! Heheh i'm not like those young successful businesswoman out there that starts creating revenue at this age of mine, not being a great programmer although facing the codes in and out everyday for almost 2 years and the list can just goes on... But question that always lead us keep thinking through your entire life. What do you want? Some people can be satisfied with their just "cukup makan" earning. Some people try to be businessminded but in fact know nothing about business. Some people just wanna retire early to have a better living with their future partners n kids. Some people want to remain unemployed and enjoy their free and easy life or hoping they can be wife of some rich sons out there. Some people will remain pursue their dreams. And again there is a lot more.. Hehehe for me.. I would just prefer to be a person that continue learning. Life is full of learning process.. U cant just stop there.... I'm trying to visualise my life path now... Yeah havent complete.. Learning ma :D (Or is that excuse for me? Hahah ) What's is the story of today? Heheh nothing.. Just a crap.. and That's Me!!! Always with the happy-go-lucky attitude yet i'm still serious at times geh.. (Ooooooo..) Hey.. believe me.. I'm really can be serious esp at work :D Frens, love yourself and your family more. That's nothing important than that. ;) Father's day is coming.. 18th June 2006. 22 maggio DiscoveryClick at the picture below and look carefully before continue reading... Tell me what can u see from the first glance? Does it looks familiar to you?
. . . . That day I was surfing around DiGi website and I had a little discovery. |
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